No, not a man (or his brother) with a tape recorder up his nose or any of the wonderfully silly things that Mr. Cleese introduced. Not the slowly fading green of the back yard (even the weeds add to the ambiance), the soft violence of the trees shedding their frocks, or the impending craziness of the holidays rushing up upon us. They exist whether locked up in digital limbo to be brought out when a giggle is desired, or forced upon us to prove that we have no true power to stop them. Time passes and memories are an instant away from being deleted with the touch of a button. Change is a universal constant.
I'm still getting used to many things: The almost daily visits of George, The Orange Fence Cat; the soft *tap*tap*tap* of the scrub jays hammering winter stores into the lawn, meticulously camouflaging them only to have a squirrel come along and "re-hide" them; another day of making busy work to fill the time that would have normally been spent keeping a network from crashing around my ears, all while trying to find the next career.
Maybe this would normally be a 12/31-1/1 post, but looking back over the expanse of the past year or so, I find that I have gone through some incredible changes. I have found a new life. One that is more complete than it has been previously. Ever. That whole "it's the journey that matters" pop-philosophy thing keeps running through my head. The path here has been circuitous and, at many times, crazy, yet the arrival of this particular moment is a significant stopping point. A rest stop on the road that is for reflection as much as for relief.
I'm happy. Truly happier than I have been for most of my life. There is something about being that person in someone's life who is needed, wanted, desired, and respected above all others that can be the best gift anyone can ever receive. As I stand here on the cusp of my 43rd year, I am thankful for the journey and all the lessons I have learned. More than that, however, I am thankful for the arrival of this point in time. It is a testament to my strength in overcoming adversity and my ability to enjoy life for all the things it brings, both good and bad. Life is what you make it, not what is made for you.
Thank you to all who have brought me here and thanks for all the lessons you have taught me. Without you or those experiences, I would not be the person I am today. Thank you for showing me the esoteric "could be" and ultimately helping me to make it become real. Thank you for allowing me to grow beyond what was and into what is. Thank you for helping me realize that there is more to life than what I was previously offered, that I don't have to settle, that I don't have to just accept what is put in front of me, but that there is a whole menu of selections awaiting me.
On a day that is normally filled with dread and dismay, I stand facing the sun, warmed by it and my good fortune.